Grasshoppah

So I'm drunk as shit and it's 6AM right... I have been preaching to this guy all night about how to pick up girls... how to meet girls... how to treat girls... blah blah blah etc. etc. etc. He's a guy that you look at and say he has no chance. I tell him it's all about confidence! This fucker will not listen!! Keeps contradicting everything I say and even everything he says... So I pretty much give up on him and have almost ruined my own confidence in myself because I have given him every good piece of advice I possibly can and he shoots it down like I can't do it either!!!!

Finally I'm like OK we'll take this shit to the field and see how it works and we both crash.

Still thinking about this hardcore...

I'm a man

I know what I'm talking about

I can do anything I put my mind to.... Why can't another human being do the same?

Alll of these things running through my head while I'm taking the ultimate drunk piss of a lifetime... And i hear a fly buzzing around my head.

I tell myself... "I will destroy this fly! With one swift movement I will take this disgusting being's life and it will cease to exist!"

I stand in the bathroom with my hands shoulder width apart above my head and reapeat to myself... "I will smash you Fly. Right now... With one slap you will be done."

So I took a few deep breaths....

Waiting for the right moment....

Telling myself that I am capable of anything I set my mind to....

And.......... WWWHHHHAAAAAAPPPPPPPPPPPPPPPP!!!!!!!!!

Gotcha Bitch!!!!!

Right in the middle of my palms! I smashed that fly!

I feel better now.

What a sorry sap... Such an absence of confidence in one's self! I don't understand it. I hope to change his mindset and produce a real man from this sorry excuse for a person that just so happens to have a penis. if nothing else to reassure my mind that my thoughts are where they need to be.

Good... uhhhh... morning...

-Slo-mo